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Overboard - ultra flashblast submission

merej99Posted for Everyone to comment on, 5 years ago3 min read

This ultra flash fiction story is being submitted for critiques for @laureate. I've added most of the guidelines at the bottom of the post and hope that you will find some inspiration with the writing prompt to join in the process!

Without further ado...


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Overboard

"Put your life jacket on. Put your life jacket on, now!"

John's directive echoed over and over as the immense waves crashed over the side of the boat. Thunder roared as wind gusts threatened to tip the boat already listing precariously starboard.

"John!" she hollered as she tried to reach him.

Her face felt like it was being stung by a thousand bees as her hair whipped her because of the merciless wind. Battered back and forth between the rail and cabin, she tried to make her way to him but the boat tipped to one side then jolted with a wave from a different direction.

"John!" she cried as her body felt lifted with an odd sense of weightlessness just before she hit the water and taken under by wave after wave. It was then that time seemed to slow down and her life depended on every breath of air she could steal.

"John..." she croaked, her dry, blistered lips split from movement; her tongue too dry to appreciate what little moisture the blood gave. Blinded by the sun's rays and sparkling reflection off the ocean, she blinked away the hallucination of her husband and looked wearily across the endless expanse of water.

Deirdre lost count of the days - or weeks - she was alone on the dingy. No respite from the salt water or heat of the day, her skin blistered and cooked. As strict as she tried to be with rationing water, her supply ran dry several days ago. Hope of being rescued evaporated with it as she stopped feeling pain and embraced the idea of dying.

How foolish she was to think finding the dingy floating meters away from her after that hellacious storm was a blessing! Surely drowning would have been a better end than this. At least she wouldn't feel so alone.

"I'm so tired," she thought. "So, so tired."

Right before she closed her eyes she saw John one more time. His head blocked the sun so she could see his face one more time. Oh, these wicked hallucinations!

Too weak to reach out to him she felt comforted by his words as she closed her eyes and let the darkness take her.

"I've got you. You're safe now."
word count: 375

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The quick and dirty on the guidelines:

For full details and original challenge link visit here

  • Look at the prompt. Let your creative mind think about stories, ideas, words, images. But don't try too hard. Don't force it.
  • Write.Give yourself about 20 minutes to an hour to write. Then stop.
  • Word Maximum. Aim for around 500 words. 1000 is a strict maximum!
  • Quick Edit. Take a small amount of time to edit for sense, spelling, comprehension - but don't take too long!
  • Copy/Paste your story to @laureate. << It will be critiqued and upvoted, hopefully by more than one person.
  • Be considerate and try to critique the work of others.
  • HAVE FUN! There is methodology to this writing process. Enjoy it.

Here is the writing prompt once again

I use WordCounter.net to keep track of my word count.

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