Flat Earth

Her hands trembled nervously as she looked at the horizon. It was not far now. She would fall. At least it would be beautiful. With her, looking in the sunset and stars.

Damn whoever had created the world on the back of a giant turtle! Damn her stupidity! Why did she let herself fall asleep?! Why did the currents pick her boat up so easily? It was no use to row now. She would just make her hands bleed. There was no escape. It had to be fine. Her hands shook. The adrenaline had come the second she woke but now it was slowly fading away. She tried to get up but the boat swayed. Careful. Breathe.

She tried again. This time more carefully. The boat moved as the waves of the ocean hit it. She got up on her knees and put her arms on the sides of the wooden thing. One foot up. A tremble. Her hands started shaking again. The darn adrenaline. She wanted. No, she had to. She would not die while on her knees. She would get up and watch the sunset. She would be her own ruler. This once. And then fall. Into the universe.

The boat had quite a flat bottom. The waves were not horribly big nor dangerous. It was the current that mattered. No life form came to this part of the ocean. She was completely alone as the tides carried her. There was a dress on her body. On top of her pants and her armor. A dress that was there to protect her from the sun's rays. Her armor was weighing her down. There was no use for it now. Alone. She let go of the boat and put her palms in fists. She squeezed until it hurt. Just to make sure. It was not a dream.

Okay. She glided her palms over her dress. It was supposed to be light and airy but the saltwater had made it rough against her skin. She tore it off. There was no use to being careful. The boat swayed. Her armor tumbled to the bottom of it soon after. She looked at it and kicked it. It hurt. Her leather sandals did not minimize the impact of metal on flesh. Good. She took it, the damned thing, and threw it overboard. It sunk fast, like stone. Escaping the fall over the edge of the world.

The ledge was closer now. The sun lover. It was getting to that point when colors become the brightest. She was angry. So angry. At herself. For falling asleep. At the world for being flat. At the turtle for making her live in a swamp all of her meaningless life. At the king for dictating her every move. She also had regrets. There would be no more days. Her dreams would never come true. She would burn out and no one would know. She hadn't got all the time she wanted... Or needed.

Her mother would worry. Or at least pretend that she did. It would be a great excuse to ask others for ''help''. Her parent knew how to do that. Look poor and vulnerable even when she felt nothing for anyone. But it did not matter. Her mother did not deserve to be in her thoughts. Especially now, when her thinking had limited time of existence. Soon there would be only darkness. Maybe not. Who could know what the great turtle gives to those who are lost?

She had no faith in Paradise or Hell. There were too many people who didn't deserve to be in either. She was one of them. She had lived her life but she had regrets. She did not think you could go to a garden of wonders if you were not fulfilled. She closed her eyes and let the wind kiss her skin. It was nice, even freeing.

Her body was naked. She was touched by the breeze. She tried to get up and this time the ocean let her. It had taken pity on her. One leg, one foot. Two legs, both feet. The boat swayed gently this time, easy for her. The heavy weight of armor was gone. She stood, naked and pure. Free. She would go as she had come.

Her arms extended, her eyes open. She looked at the horizon that was now just mere meters away. The ocean was calm here. Almost as if the water was not spilling over the ledge. She looked at that line and her breath become faster. Shallow. The adrenaline. It won't let me die in peace. She let out a sigh and it seemed to be the only sound in the whole universe. She saw the sun setting on the far left. She looked at the stars shining as bright as ever.

It was her time. The moment of truth. At least her questions of existence would be answered this day.