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Relationship Is Mutual.

olawaliumPosted for Everyone to comment on, last year5 min read

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I am always moved to see people happy and I always want people to continue to enjoy what truly makes them happy. A relationship requires a lot of effort and also a huge level of sacrifice too. You need to go out of your way to make your spouse happy and that is how it is with relationships. It is mutually beneficial and shouldn't be one-sided.

She has been a good wife to you or a good partner to you, she goes out of her way just to make you happy and she would defend you anywhere and anyhow, no matter what, then I think it is not too much to make such a person happy. Try and do so much on days that mean so much to them; birthdays, anniversaries, or any other day that you can choose to make special for them. It is not too much to ask and do for someone who actually goes through the hoops for you too.

As partners, you should seek to make each other happy. There are things you wouldn’t do normally but you just have to do them to make each other happy. Don’t treat people you care about as "common" and don’t also treat those who care about you as common too. Don’t disparage the genuineness of affection because, in the end, you will find yourself holding on to nothing because when you don’t place appropriate value on those who truly matter, soon they will feel unappreciated and it is a massive threat to your relationship. Naturally, a man or woman would gravitate towards where they are appreciated rather than where they are tolerated.

Never bargain genuine affection by withholding that affection. I don't want to be taken for granted is always the excuse most people give. Study your partner and it begs the question of why you would be with someone who takes you for granted and not leave. You need to express yourself freely and let your partner see how much you appreciate him or her. Get rid of the need to control your partner and focus only on caring and loving him or her, and you will see how enjoyable your relationship would be, but when you enjoy dragging things and situations, even a simple compliment or gesture will ultimately lose value. Loving and caring for your partner should go both ways and you will see how easy it could be to love and care for each other.


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In a relationship, you can never rule out the place of generosity. You have to be generous in loving your partner, generous in caring for your partner, generous in giving to your partner and also generous in showing affection to your partner. I once said when you are considerate, then you will enjoy your relationship and the same goes for it when you are generous. A relationship isn't for stingy and selfish people because they only want to absorb and a relationship is about giving and taking simultaneously.

When you lack consideration and generosity in your relationship, then manipulation and selfishness get in. When selfishness and manipulation set in, we have the case of the swine and pearl circumstance. Swine don’t appreciate pearls because they believe everything must be muddled up, even the very precious pearl. When a situation like this happens in a relationship, you can be very sure that the appreciation of each other would be kicked away to the curb as you take each other for granted.

Never try to manipulate your partner or try to be selfish in your approach; it will make you lose something wonderful in your relationship. As I have been trying to say, you have to go out of your way to make your partner happy and that is what we call EFFORT. When you go out of your way to make him or her happy and he or she doesn’t appreciate it, it is clear that he or she has cut off future attempts. A lot of time how we think about relationships often gets in the way of our efforts. If you see your partner as someone that should be exploited, then you won’t appreciate much of the effort such a person is putting in. we are a reflection of what we think, in our relationship.

Leke Alder once said that a good relationship is the miracle of life. When you understand that a good relationship is the miracle of life, you won’t only appreciate what you have but you will appreciate who you have. We should understand that the odds are sometimes stacked against us in life, particularly in our relationships. We sometimes think having a good relationship means just meeting someone and then falling in love with such a person. It takes a lot more effort than that.

...to be continued...


Thank you for your time.


My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.

Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.

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