Voices of Self Doubt

4 days ago

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Self portrait taken by me @derangedvisions


The Voices

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I am not sure what it is with being a "creative" that makes me think that most of my work is not good enough to be shown. I have over 23,000 pictures in my Lightroom catalog and I have probably only shared about 0.5% of them with people.

I don't know if I think no one would like them or if I think they just suck, but either way, I can't bring myself to delete any of them. I have many of thousands of pictures though. The 23,000 that made the cut were the ones that I deemed good enough at one point to keep.

When I go to share stuff, there are the voices of self doubt that creep in and tell me that no one cares about it and that it would be pointless. I am sure that so many of you can relate. If you can't relate to any of what I am saying, that is awesome because you have it so easy.


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Self portrait taken by me @derangedvisions


Just think of the song writers that are in the world that have thrown away masterpieces because they doubted their work and those words will never be heard. Or the poets or authors that have written grand works and never shared them because they were worried about what others would say.

I am not too sure where I am headed with this post because once I have an idea for a post and start writing, it never goes the way I planned it to. I blame Snook over on Steemit for that with her introducing me to the free-writing so long ago.

I guess what I want everyone to get out of this is to believe in yourself, even though it is something that I struggle with daily. If you need someone to talk to, reach out.

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Great shots! And I know the feeling. I doubt just about every move I make these days. By the way, my Lightroom catalog currently contains 57,382 photos..

Sadly I never organized them properly, so over the years I have built up a huge mess of JPG and RAW. All jumbled together with meaningless names and nonsensical folder structure.

And I second the beard compliment by @backpackingmonk. haha. My beard sucks because I can't grow anything but fuzz on my cheek area.

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I've got a fairly big collection of my father's photographs, which seem to have a very similar organizational structure as you've described! LOL Sadly, most of my photographs are fairly poor quality, and most of the time taken with a really old iPhone. meh. I barely venture out into the real world anyway.

I third the beard compliment. My beard sucks too. tee hee 😜

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Hehe.. well with my collection the quality varies dramatically depending on my patience that day.

I am sure there are quite a few smartphone images mixed in as well!

Don't poke your eyes out. I am sure there are more than a few amazing shots lurking in there. It is the same for all of us. It is funny how time changes your perspective on shoots too; some mature well others don't. I have over 1/2 a million shots in my database but I only keep a few thousand at a time in lightroom as its terrible at managing large databases.

Such is the life of a creative -- self-doubt, angst, the frustration of being an imperfect perfectionist. And then I look at Jackson Pollack paintings and go pfffft - if he can sell paint splatter then fuck it all - I can release my work and see where it goes. I believe there is bravery in sharing our creative endeavors with the public. It's humbling and makes us feel vulnerable, but it can also be one step closer to immortality.

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Ya I know what you mean about the whole Jackson Pollack paintings, lol. But apparently there is some magical science behind them that makes them perfect about how he does everything and it is a very meticulous way that his would use the colors and drip the paint on the canvas. At least that what I would have said when I was flicking paint everywhere too. Once @dstors opens, I will buy some of your work. You should check out my wife's, @tranquil-art paintings. She is gonna be selling her stuff as well.

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Yes indeed, paint splatter and meticulous work... LOL
Only a brilliant marketer would put that together and create such hype.
And thank you for reminding me that your wife is sharing her work on the platform! I've been sorely behind on curation because I'm trying to help get the social media stuff organized.
I've got a couple of pieces that I drew and shared on Steemit but I don't know if I have the heart to part with the originals! I've got other crafting things that I am definitely planning to put in the store. I can't wait to set up shop!

What about someone who knows that what they make is worthy but no one else sees the worth in it? Who has it worse? ;-)

I am kind of in between. The stuff I come up with, at some level is gold, but I lack the confidence and to see through the development of such ideas sometimes. Sometimes what I put out might be crap, but I know that if I could develop it well, it would be oh so amazing.

Your work is wonderful, don’t be so insecure, the people who get it will get it and the people who don’t wont. Message me on discord if you ever need a kick in the ass

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Thank you. I really appreciate it. I like to take my advice from the wise Joe Dirt. "Keep on Keepin On". Most of the stuff I do is for myself anyways, so I dont care too much about what other people would say about it. I just hope that I like it.

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I totally get that...I just want to make songs and stories I love! I hope someone else understand but if I love it that’s enough!

I really love these three point light set up studio shots. The background lights really separates the object from the background shadow. I would love to get photoshot by you one day.😊😊

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Thanks for the compliment. I plan on traveling to India some time in the future. So when that happens, I would totally do that for you, no charge. That would be pretty cool. I always enjoy meeting from these platforms in real life.

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Wow that would be awesome my friend. We can chat on telegram or whatsapp also, if you use any of them.

Damn that is a super decent collection dude!

But dont ever throw them out, for real. I have a ridiculous amount of cds lying around in Holland somewhere (which isnt even own material and yours IS) but still I will never throw them away

And it gives you options to take some from here and there whenever you need just anything as a pic... (cool selfportrait dude....really!)

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I know how you feel about those CDs. I have so many of them up in my attic, lol. I haven't listened to them in about 20 years, but I can't bear to part with them.

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lol, thanks. I trimmed it down a lot so it isn't as majestic any more. :(

this user https://whaleshares.io/@creativemind/comments
and https://whaleshares.io/@phonewhale

they are the same person as you can verify for yourself since they posted videos to both blogs

the phonewhale account upvotes all comments made by the other account

multiple accounts are used to abuse the rewards pool

you have a lot of influence, maybe you can help do something about this.

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This is not appropriate, nor does it have anything to do with this post.
Consider approaching the witnesses in the Discord channel to make them aware of your concerns.

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This person is spamming the Blockchain..

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Yeah, I noticed. Last I looked, it was 20 exact comments on as many posts. Not cool.

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Do you want to have a real discussion or a few word conclusions? I'm trying to discuss like an adult but you don't seem to be open for discussion

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Write a more serious response if you want to be taken serious,

I am always open minded to speak with you, what is it that you want me to change? It seems very petty, I don't think self reward comments are a big deal, maybe you do, why can't you talk to me instead. I even wrote many deeper texts yesterday as articles, and I made many original content videos.

I really think this is petty, and you actually spammed that comment, like you wanted to hurt me, I have clearly stated many times I am open minded to reward and empower others, I also do it here, I clearly stated I focus on video creators. And that I reward people that comes to me and that focus on it. So what is the big deal? Going to chase every wls? If you want to talk to me you always can

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You had made a comment on other posts about people having multiple accounts using stake to reward themselves. That is true, but they are not going to the extent that you are and trying to hide that fact by going to almost month old posts and commenting on them, then giving themself a full upvote with their other account on a post they never voted on. How do you justify your comment being worth over 15 times the value of the original post? All you were doing at that point was comment farming, which on Steemit will get you flagged by Steemcleaners. That behavior is totally unacceptable and I am glad that @profanereviews and @pankso found your comment and called you out on it. That comment is not worth more than @silentscreamer's post and is a slap in the face to her actually.

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"hide that fact by going to almost month old posts and commenting on them" what the hell are you talking about? This is a public Blockchain. You can't hide anything. Marica is a friend. I write comments on my friends posts and boost with my own Stake sometimes. Big deal. If they would have new posts I usually comment on them. I also do original content text + original videos. On this specific day I wrote 5 original articles and boosted as well. But clearly you want to just focus on the minor. Please get a hobby. That you want to play moral police that is another thing.

I comment on friends posts. That you want to find something suspicious about that is kind of hilarious. I have Marica on auto-vote on Steem Blockchain. Every single day. Btw you are aware I can't vote on a post older than 14 days? Seriously. People have too much free time in here. You are aware that 40 million WLS tokens will be shared out the next 2 years?

You think all this will be done "noble" on massive long original posts? I even made videos explaining an auto service is needed. Expecting people to manually share out so much is not based in reality. Just cut it already. I can show mountains of witnesss circle-jerk vote that is 10x more than 1 Stake holder voting some own comments. I invested early in the platform. It's my stake. And I'm not against empowering others. I have made videos clearly stating that anyone that needs wls help and support can come to me and I will empower them. But I will focus on the vlogger niche. As I find that to be the main value.

When I was new to this platform people that bullied me got 400+ WLS upvotes. I didn't panic over it. And you sit and get concerned by a few 50 WLS comments. Whaleshares Tokens will be shared out. People want their share after Invested in the platform. I pushed in a good $500 into this place and brought tons of people in here that never would be here if it was not for me. I talk thousands of dollars I brought to this place. If you go against some 50+ wls comments you might as well go for Haejin as well. What is that 250 WLS for a chart? Hypocrisy. I'm not against Haejin or anyone using their own Stake. I trust people have good intentions. And they do. I have yet to find a "bad" person in this Blockchain ecosystem.

There is enough Tokens to go around for everyone. We talk 40 million WLS Tokens the next 2 years. There is nobody on this place that is not getting Tokens at the moment. And if they want they can reach out to me. And again people know each other outside Blockchain ecosystems. For example one time I felt very generous and randomly sent €100 free to support Marica in Steem delegation. Acts of kindness like this only comes when you have a true trust and love network. That takes time to develop. But we will never get there with moral policing and trying to control every single millimeter, that is living in scarcity as we move into a Trillion dollar economy. Thanks for your reply

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There are better ways to handle this situation than to come on a post and make these irrelevant comments that cause a massive thread that detract from the whole post in general. Checking your comment history I see you have been going to multiple people's post and spamming this as well, which is also not cool.

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:D And one would hope to find more peaceful environment here on WLS :D

really awesome post, I really like your post

I have the same voices, we all do. I don't think mine scream at me so I have to plug my ears, it's more like they whisper... don't post that picture, you know it's no good... stuff like that. The voices never shut up, I just try to ignore them :)