How I deal with the Oppressive Framing of Mainstream Culture

Yesterday I made a new friend and had a very long and enjoyable conversation. It was actually the first enjoyable conversation I’ve had with someone from the “ex-pat” community. It was one of the first long conversations I’ve had with someone since “rejoining society”. At times it was challenging. There was a lot I had to maneuver, but it was fun because she was easy going and fun.

Still...

Why would I have to maneuver anything?

I often run into this problem when dealing with people outside of my social circle. There is culture so prevelent that regardless of which circle you are part of, regardless of where you are from, and regardless of what they know of you, it is considered common sense.

This is what I call mainstream culture.

Though many would consider hip-hop or “the art scene” or agro-yoga subcultures, that still doesn’t mean the people involved aren’t influenced primarily by mainstream culture. I know a “hippie bar” that plays Rihanna. Even among anarchist friends Rick and Morty and Doritos are inescapable. That seems to be the norm these days. In order to connect to society, people find themselves immersed in what is popular. That’s not to say it’s all bad. I see the appeal of Rick and Morty, but it’s still part of mainstream though it may not seem to be from certain angles, not 100% of people know it.

Sometimes it’s not Rihanna or Rick and Morty. Sometimes it’s the words people use. Sometimes it’s the way they interact with people. Sometimes it’s their ideas about life. These can be much heavier than films and books and often go unnoticed. Do you feel you need to shake hands with someone in order to start a friendly relationship with someone, or exchange names first before really starting a conversation? Can you imagine a world without certain things such as money or school or a concept of “work”? These are just a few examples of how our framing has been shaped by others.

Mainstream culture is not often that which comes natural to us, but it does come naturally to us when it’s been imposed upon us.

We’ve been colonized by ideas

As we spoke, there was sensitivity on both sides about ethnic and religious background, sexuality, all things pertaining to the popularized idea of personal identity. That’s great. Humanity has come a long way from its lowest points. Why was the same kind of sensitivity not shown towards personal philosophies and idea?

We were talking about art and the art scene and society. We joked around a lot, focusing on the idea of “entrepreneurs”. When she told me she was doing research on entrepreneurs, I told her I was one. I had no idea what I as saying. I actually don’t have a concept on entrepreneurs. I said I don’t know what an entrepreneur is. I guess I kind of do, but I know nothing of the culture of entrepreneurs.

“You don’t know what an entrepreneur is?”

“Isn’t it like an aspiring CEO?”

“It could be.” She laughed.

“Well, do entrepreneurs introduce themselves as entrepreneurs? It sounds a lot better than ‘aspiring CEO’.”

The conversation turned to my art.

She very affectionately called me arrogant for not wanting to market myself.

“If your work is good, people deserve to see it”

“Don’t I deserve the right to share how I want to share?”.

“I find that so sad...and arrogant. Why wouldn’t you want your work to reach as many people as possible?”

“What’s wrong with reaching 2000 or even just 200 people? YouTube decides that a few million views deserves monetization, even fake is an arbitrary concept. Why shouldn’t someone who influences 200 people, even changes their lives, be considered a success?”

She was open minded and engaged. Still we had to go deep into the definition of words in order for her to understand where I was coming from. These words have been colonized as well. She saw my point, but she reminded me that this kind of conversation is not always going to make you friends.

“Do you always talk about these things? I don’t mind but I could see how it could turn people off”

I know this all too well. But she wanted to know about me and I had no way to share these things about myself withoutngoong that deep. It’s not that I am “so deep” it’s that we are in different paradigms, and the one who is used to the mainstream paradigm doesn’t understand the others paradigm, but the one in the other paradigm is expected to already be intimately familiar with certain aspects of the mainstream paradigm.

You could say that it’s not my business whether she is tired out or not and that I should feel free to be who I am. I certainly do, but it’s nice to have pleasant interactions, and I’ve met far more people who cannot be as playful nor as understanding about my so-called radical ideas and perspective. Sometimes it can be very hard to find others who agree with us and those times it’s easy to feel like we are alone in the world.

This is not a post to complain, merely an observation and a potential explaiantion for why people like myself avoid anything remotely mainstream, especially when people gather in groups. It’s not because I think I’m better than anyone, it’s because we are not standing on equal ground in those kind of arenas. Sometimes you meet understanding and open minded people, and so I try to give everyone a chance. Still, it doesn’t always feel good when you tire people out in the process of showing them who you are.

I don’t need everyone to think like I do either. I just hope that people can recognize how they’ve been influenced by mainstream culture, even when they are not knee deep in its most prevelent aspects. I also hope we can form supportive networks of communities that help people find those who think a like, and bridge communities to form a better understanding between people with different ideas. That is what I am putting my energy into.

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