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Double-Edged Sword

erodedthoughtsPosted for Everyone to comment on, 4 years ago7 min read


You never know what changes will happen in life or rather they will be good or bad changes until they happen. I've been disabled for a few years and as many of you know I was on a fuck-ton of prescription narcotics and I always seemed to get worse as each month passed.


In late November 2019, I was told I have Fibromyalgia and prescribed Cymbalta for it.

Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.
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Let's just say Cymbalta and Adderal do not mix well and stopping Cymbalta cold turkey is very dangerous.


Common side effects of Cymbalta withdrawal:


Brain zaps – electric shock-like sensations in head
Body zaps – electronic shock-like sensations in body (not in head)
Extreme mood swings
Agitation and/or irritability
Aggression
Nightmares and/or sleep disturbance
Confusion
Diarrhea
Vertigo
Dizziness and/or light-headedness
Headache and/or migraines
Nausea and/or vomiting
Excessive sweating
Memory and concentration difficulties
Suicidal thoughts (ideation)
Suicide attempts
Self-mutilation
Hallucination and/or sensory disturbances
Tremors
Seizures
Fatigue
Lethargy
Flu-like symptoms (abdominal discomfort, weakness, etc.)
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Let's just say I had over 80% of the Cymbalta withdrawal symptoms all at once, many for a few weeks and some still today when my last dose was December 25th, 2019. I had a major fit of blind rage on December 27th along with major out of character actions which resulted in me destroying a lot of property in my house, damaging my relationships with my wife and kids, being served a peace order as no one had a clue what the fuck had happened, sleeping outside in December winter weather including rain before going to court and accepting the peace order as I had no memory of the night and was not going to fight it because I did not want to chance hurting my family again.


That one side effect alone almost cost me, my family. I was also dealing with those side effects above as well as many of those from the mixing of Cymbalta and Adderal.

In general, amphetamines and other sympathomimetic appetite suppressants should not be combined with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). Close monitoring for enhanced sympathomimetic effects and possible serotonin syndrome is recommended if these agents must be used together. Symptoms of the serotonin syndrome may include mental status changes such as irritability, altered consciousness, confusion, hallucinations, and coma; autonomic dysfunction such as tachycardia, hyperthermia, diaphoresis, shivering, blood pressure lability, and mydriasis; neuromuscular abnormalities such as hyperreflexia, myoclonus, tremor, rigidity, and ataxia; and gastrointestinal symptoms such as abdominal cramping, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
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Sadly, the horror my body experienced during those two months was awful, the experience my family has had since December has been horrific to put it lightly.


The combination of all of this shit, muscle relaxers, Xanax, migraine medicine, Vicodin and a few I can't even recall nor do I remember being prescribed over the last few years. On top of it, I am also allergic to the entire Morphine family. Yes, I had been taking hundreds of Vicodin monthly for years, getting sicker and sicker and no one caught that a lot of it was due to Vicodin and not cancer I was being intrusively checked for through this hole and that one.


I went ahead and took myself off of all of these medications in January after checking myself in for inpatient psychiatric care on December 31st. My general doctor wanted to send me to rehab thinking I was addicted to the pain killers as no one knew I was allergic and my body did not even remotely like Vicodin let alone want it after it was gone.


That wasn't even the end of things. Needless to say, the things that had happened between myself and my family affected me way more than anything physical that had happened to me due to the medications.
Once I was in the hospital they saw that I was not going to withdrawal from the medications. Other than pain like normal, I couldn't quit crying. I had come off of medications that fuck with your mood once stopped and a few I had been on for 40 years like the Adderal.


Of course, they didn't see me coming off of all of those prescription drugs as a cause for anything that happened in the last few days. So after they realized I wasn't going to enter hardcore withdrawal they prescribed Lamictal.


Lamictal works for chronic pain and seizures which I have so I was not against trying it until I saw my neurologist again once I left. It can also be taken for ADHD with Adderal so it would not cause me to find a new ADHD medication after 40 years.


I started the Lamictal on January 6th and left the hospital on January 9th to live as an outpatient. Around January 13th I started seeing shadow people. I would catch them out of the corner of my eyes as well as shadow birds, snakes and bouncing balls.

♦ Dementia with Lewy bodies (DLB) is a neurodegenerative disorder characterized by progressive cognitive decline plus at least 2 of the following symptoms: cognitive fluctuations, visual hallucinations (typically of mute animate objects appearing early in the course of the disease), or parkinsonism.
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With all of the side effects I was experiencing over the last few years and the fact that my grandmother had dementia I was concerned that I was drifting into a mental state that was going to make me say goodbye sooner than I would accept. I mentioned it to the doctors. They did not seem too concerned and told me to just ignore them. About 2 weeks later I started to stutter out of the blue and started to get handshakes right after that. I decided to leave this set of doctors and try another inpatient place in Delaware.


Once checked in there I quickly learned that stutters, handshakes and shadow people were all black box side effects of Lamictal. I also found out Lamictal is the same type of medication that Topamax, Neurontin and Depakote. I also had extreme side effects from all of them over the years.


February 14th I was released from the second inpatient facility and finally returned home.
I got a letter in the mail that my disability case review was in April
I got another letter telling me I had a warrant from missing court on February 14th
I turned myself in, processed, released on ROR
Covid-19 hits
Disability is turned into a phone interview
Told I can now file for SSI as well as SSDI
I can finally apply for my medical marijuana card
Marijuana-Weed-Hemp-Plant-Leaf-Natural-Cannabis-313051.jpg
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ABOUT FUCKING TIME, YEARS LATER AFTER ZERO WORK AND FAMILY OF 9
New babies, kids in college and everything else listed above
April 20th, 2020 I got a letter in the mail
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Sadly, I can't remember or find the login to Bittrex, Kraken or Bitshares


I don't even have the weed to smoke yet!

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