Ebb and Flow of Life

17 days ago

This life.
This journey that we are all on.
It's like water.
There is an ebb.
And there is a flow.
And together they are the delicate balance that we like to call life.

And now as I write this, I realize that my art is all about ebb and flow.
It is a direct representation of how I feel in that moment.
A mirror of what process I am in.

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Am I in the ebb? Or am I in the flow?

Right now I feel as if I am in both.

Ebb as I turn inwards with the sharp cold energy of Winter and seeing my own blockages have their light shone on.
Flow as I tap deeper into my artist self and see that this is my path.

All in all, I am in T R A N S I T I O N.

A big one.

Maybe it has something to do with age?
My friend just send me a voice message saying that in ancient Buddhistic teachings they express that between the ages of twenty eight and thirty five is when one is in the creation process of one's own life.

This is my creation time.

And that's basically all I want to do.

And work just feels like a blockage, a hassle, a must-do instead of a want-to-do.

I even notice a transition in the way I write.
It's different.
It's lighter.
More poetic.
More 'me'.
Whatever that is supposed to mean.

This whole thing was spiked by a huge emotional outpouring of seeing my mother for the first time in 2.5 years last week.

She is the only parent I am in contact with and I told her to step up to the role as a mother.
As difficult as that conversation was, it was also very good.
It made her realize that this Mother-Daughter relationship needs work, communication and quality time.
Without it, we are simply two strangers who speak to eachother now and then without much interest.

I feel like one of those crabs that shed their shells once a year and that process is very uncomfortable.

That's me.

An Ashley Crab.

Over and out dearies.

Been good to get this off of my chest and onto the digital diary called Steem.

Love,

Ash

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I'm glad you are making progress and sharing it with your paintings. Making internal peace with family stuff is a hard point for many people, including myself