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Never Go on Fly Fish

blanchyPosted for Everyone to comment on, 5 years ago7 min read

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We were in Aiya Napa. 4 of us. It was a slow year on the holiday front as we could only muster up six people. We said we would go somewhere mad so we chose Aiya Napa Cyprus. During the day we used to go to the beach and they had all kinds of watersports. There were guys along the pier asking us would we go on some of their watersports and Fly Fish caught Floods eye. Now when something catches Flood's eye there is danger involved. Flood went on the banana boat when he couldn't swim on our first holiday. The banana boat man had to jump in and rescue him.
I never knew it turned over, What's next on the agenda? laughed Flood with half his lungs full of salt water.
We all look wearily at Fly Fish sitting there looking all not dangerous in the glimmering sun shine.

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We watched two young Irish hoodlums make their way down the pier and getting roped into Fly Fish. They weren't scepticle like our selfs and were laughing away getting on and within minutes they were high in the sky hanging on for dear life. Every time the speed boat hit a wave the Fly Fish plummeted and sometimes hit the water and went back up in the sky. You are taking about a 30 foot drop here so falling off this bloody thing was not considered an option. The two head da balls that left the pier could be seen coming back over the horizon and when they finally landed back to shore they were alot paler and quieter than when they left. This amused Flood.
Imagine Hammer trying to hang on to that mused Flood.
We wouldn't even take off
I am beside you Flood. I am here said Hammer taking issue with Flood talking like he wasn't there.

Lads we have to do it

Lad's how many can you take? There is 4 of us.

We take 4.
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4 of us were shitting it but did not want to admit it. The peer pressure was intense so we all decided to do it. The guy was laughing but when we got on he started getting our signatures of consent. I hate those signatures. You could die and if you do ,it is not our fault. Great. The guy started getting serious now and he advised us to hang on for dear life. We all laughed it off but then he shouted
Seriously hang on or you could have bad fall!
For fuck sake Flood , what do you have us on at all at all?

Now the whole set up was wrong from the start. Six people on this thing was far from safe. Hammer who weighed alot was above me. If we were airbourne and hammer was to fall then he would take me with him. Not only would he do that but he would probably knock me out cold in the process of falling into the ocean. Not good. The guy advised us to lie on our back. We all did bar Flood who decided to lie on his stomach.
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So we started off and it was fine. The speedboat was making its way out of the bay and we were bouncing along and everyone was having a ball.
This is fine I thought to myself.
Just as I said this the guy in the speed boat decided to speed up somewhat. We started leaving the water and going up in the air. The speed boat guy ( I wouldn't call him the captain) then went full throttle and we took off. We ended up very high up in the air.
Jaysus said Flood. The grin finally wiped off his face.
We then plummeted down again and bounced back up to 30 foot. That's when the cracks started appearing in Floods grip.
Then from 30 foot in the air he was gone.
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Hammer who was over my head started to lose his grip after Flood fell and he fell too. His leg hit me in the face on the way down. Hammers fall was a sore one. He hit the water in the most awkward way ever.
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The speed boat guy noticed Hammer falling and slowed down. He never spotted Flood leaving the rocketship and nearly knocked him down on the way to collect Hammer. Watching Flood's desperate Dan head bobbing up and down in the water helpless was a sight to behold. We turned around to go back and he went hell for leather again. We were all again losing our grip and had to tell the guy to slow down. Hammer went again of course and he took me with him this time. It was the biggest knock I have ever taken. My arm was locked around his leg when we hit the water, my arm got pulled down. Hammer was not happy.
I nearly died twice and we are still not back. This is like going 3 rounds with Mike Tyson!
Hammer was battered and bruised. My shoulder and arm were in tatters. Flood had an injury but he didn't let on. Kenny was the only one that stayed on. He was as light as a feather and he just hung on for dear life. We arrived back to shore promising never to go on that deathtrap ever again. Even Flood was a bit traumatised.
We went straight back to our appartments. I had to go to the doctor with my shoulder and it turned out I was dislocated. He popped it back in there and then which now topped the fall as the most painful incident of my life.
That night we ended up having a few drinks in the green bungalows, our humble holiday complex. Flood started talking to some girls beside us and started talking about Fly Fish saying it was a breeze. One of the girls said she wanted to go on it but nobody would do it with her.
Flood will do it with you we all said at once.
Flood stared at us with his beady eyes shaking his head behind the girls back.
That's settled then. 10 am tomorrow Flood will meet you down the pier.
Yee bastards whispered Flood.
*I'm gonna get yee back!
The next morning we were hungover but wide awake as Flood had a date with destiny and we weren't going to miss it. Some of the girls were extremely good looking so the date was to be kept. Flood was not happy but he put on a brave face.
Let's get this over with!

Kenny told me while Flood was getting on that if you paid the Fly Fish guys extra they would a good ride so to speak.
Flood was lying down this time on the Fly Fish with his date all happy with herself (for now). The last thing Flood saw was Kenny handing over €50 to the Fly Fish guy telling him not to hold back! Flood was shaking his head on the fly fish mumbling to himself and off they went as we laughed our little hungover faces off awaiting their return and scars.
Below is a video of Fly Fish in action. It was alot worse than the video. Don't do it in Aiya Napa. Those guys want to kill you. Flood got back alive anyway. Like a ghost. The girl was crying and her mascara was all over the place. Lessons learnt. Never go on Fly Fish.


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