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Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 34

darthnavaPosted for Everyone to comment on, 5 years ago3 min read

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 34th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and 33. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Eggs

MOTHER: Dear, please check the eggs that I have boiled if they are cooked.
CHILD: Not yet, Mom! The shells have not softened yet!


Pres. Trump

Image source

President Trump and his family were riding a plane.

PRES. TRUMP: What if I throw one check worth a million dollars out of the window to make at least one American happy?
WIFE: Dear, why not throw two checks worth half a million dollars each to make two Americans happy?
DAUGHTER: Dad, why not throw four checks worth a quarter of a million each to make four Americans happy?
GRAND DAUGHTER: Grandpa, why don't you simply throw yourself out of the window to make all Americans happy???


Robbed twice

WOMAN: Mr. Policeman, help! I have been robbed! Please chase after those robbers getting away in that car with lights right now!
POLICEMAN: I'm sorry, I can't go after them!
WOMAN: Why not??? Its your job to enforce law and order!
POLICEMAN: That was my service car they stole!


Opened up

MOM: I warn you not to go to your friends' party! These are dangerous times, young lady! You might get raped!
DAUGHTER: Don't worry, Mom! My panties can not be easily removed and are made from tin cans! They won't know it!
MOM: Okay, but be careful!

A few hours later...

MOM: Why are you crying?
DAUGHTER: I was raped at the party!
MOM: What??? I thought your panties were made from tin cans and can not be easily removed!
DAUGHTER: They had a can opener!


Ripe fruit

Pixabay

GRANDMA: Why is little Johnny crying hard?
TOMMY: I don't know! I gave him the ripe fruit to eat while I ate the unripe one myself!
GRANDMA: What is that fruit you gave him?
TOMMY: A red hot chili pepper!



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


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