Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 27

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 27th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, and 26. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!

Remember what I say

BOY: Remember what I am going to say because this is important!
GIRL: Okay, what is it?
BOY: Uhhmmn...I love you so much! Remember that I'll always be by your side! Did you get that?
GIRL: (lovestruck) Ah...Yes, I did!
BOY: Good! Tell that to your best friend, okay?

The language barrier

An Arab was applying for a visa in a U.S. Embassy.

CONSULTANT: Your name, please?
ARAB: Karim Abdullah, Sir.
CONSULTANT: Sex?
ARAB: 6 to 10 times a week.
CONSULTANT: No, no. I mean male or female?
ARAB: Both male and female. And sometimes even camels.
CONSULTANT: Holy cow!
ARAB: Yes, cows and dogs too.
CONSULTANT: Son of a bitch! Isn't that a bit hostile?
ARAB: Horse style, dog style...Any style
CONSULTANT: Oh, dear..!
ARAB: No deer. They run too fast.

Cremation deal

Meanwhile in the office of a crematorium.

JOHN: Good morning, Sir. May I ask how much do you charge for cremation service for a dead body? My relative died.
ADMINISTRATOR: It is 35,000 Pesos, Sir. It includes a beautiful urn with free delivery.
JOHN: What? That's too expensive! We thought it only costs 15,000 Pesos!
ADMINISTRATOR: That can still be arranged! We can have the body HALF-COOKED!

Insulted

John bought a new computer but he immediately smashed it to pieces.

PETER: What is the matter with you? That PC wasn't cheap!
JOHN: I created a naughty password so only I could access it and it insulted me!
PETER: What do you mean?
JOHN: My password was, "MY PENIS"! And the damn PC insulted me by replying, "PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH"!

Gruesome reason

DUMB NURSE: Doctor, why do we have to wear gloves while performing surgery?
DOCTOR: It is important because if the patient ever dies during surgery, we won't leave fingerprints behind as evidence!

Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/

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