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Comedy Open Mic - Round 2

comedyopenmicPosted for Everyone to comment on, 5 years ago5 min read

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Are you ready, Whalesharers?

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Well, isn't this exciting?

We know. We're just vibrating over here. We can barely keep our fluids in.
This is the very second round of Comedy Open Mic on the Whaleshares blockchain. We heard there were a few funny folks around these parts and we decided to see if we could corral them and have them fight to the death for our entertainment.

The Whaleshares lawyers have since served us with letters explaining that we are to, under no circumstances, promote any acts of physical violence on their platform. Our enforcers promptly stuffed their bodies in garbage bags and are now serving life sentences. So until we can get new hired guns we aren't going to advocate physical violence.

Luckily they didn't say anything about mental or emotional violence so we implore all contenders to use their sharp tongues and rapier wit and slay their foes in a totally fun way. Make them wince with every keystroke. Make them wish they had never messed with your comedic clout.

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We should probably throw some rules around to get this thing started.

The Golden Rule

Get out and vote!

You have choices for witness and you should look into them and choose carefully. Did you know that @comedyopenmic, @krazywitness, and @bushkill-witness are witnesses? It's true. Two of them are pretty obvious, as witness is in their actual name but maybe have a look and see if they align with your values on the blockchain.

Okay now, here are the real rules (so far)

1. The post is your own, original to Whaleshares, content.

Yes, we know that you have already written out an amazing entry on your other blog that would definitely win this but it's a different place and a different time. This has to be a fresh post for this contest. It wouldn't be fair to let you slaughter the competition with that hilarious piece of genius, it just wouldn't. Even though I am chortling as I think about it.

2. We say it's a week, but it's really six days.

If we have learned anything from judging comedy contests, it is that comedy contest judges are rarely reliable. Sure they are bang on for the first three days, but she's a downhill slide from there. For that reason, we will be running a six-day contest with the seventh day being held for sobering the judges up enough to get their ratings.
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3. You will be allowed two entries per round.

Listen, we know you can churn out six gutbusters in six days. We have seen you do it. The problem is that too many posts to judge interferes with our homemade ice cream addiction enjoyment. It also can help even things out with the people who aren't in cokehead mode. If you are having trouble choosing your best two, print them out and lay them out in a chicken bingo pen.

4. You must use the tag #comedyopenmic and add Comedy Open Mic Round _ (whatever round you are entering).

This will allow us to find the entries that are not just tag abuse. Not that anyone would ever abuse tags here. You are all perfect images of upstanding community members. We applaud you for that.

Now for the fake rules (suggestions)

Please spread some love around to your competitors, they are just as depressed as you are and would love an encouraging word or a slap on the bum.

Please invite a friend or three to join in the contest. We know your friends aren't as funny as you, but there are three prizes and maybe they would give you some of their second or third prizes for thinking about them. Hey, it's worth a shot. Throw in a tag and see how it goes.

Throw your links in the comments if you want. We will be checking tags and titles but you could make it easier for passersby to read your hilarious entry if it was right in this very post.

Important: Please make your entries in English. You can also have it in any other languages you like(except python), but most judges won't understand it. Your best bet is to have it readable by the potentially Anglicized judges.

Have fun!

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Now for the prizes

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Our most generous benefactor @krazywitness has slipped us a little "walking around money" to reward you fine comedians with. We will be starting off with three prizes:

1st - 100 KrazyKoins

2nd - 50 KrazyKoins

3rd - 25 KrazyKoins

There is a minimum of four judges that will be rating the entries and all will be averaged at the end to determine the winners. In case of a tie, we will worry about that problem when it happens.

P.S. We know we are forgetting a bunch of stuff but all the fun is in trying to figure out what it is.

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