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Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 26

darthnavaPosted for Everyone to comment on, 5 years ago4 min read

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 26th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, and 25. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Cobra bite

JOHN: Friend, Help! A young cobra snake bit me on my penis!
PETER: Okay, I'll call the doctor on my cell phone now!
PETER: (Calling the doctor) Hello, doc? Emergency! My friend was bitten by a cobra! What should I do?
DOCTOR: I want you to suck the blood out of the part of the body where the snake bit him! You must hurry!
JOHN: What did the doctor say?
PETER: I'm sorry but he says that you are going to die!


Magic wallet

Salesman: Hey pretty lady, care to buy this beautiful wallet? Its cheap!
Lady: Really? How much?
Salesman: It's ony a thousand Pesos.
Lady: What? That's too much!
Salesman: But this wallet has magical properties. Its made from the skin of a dead playboy! You just caress and stroke it and it will expand into a shoulder bag!


The watch

Image source

TEACHER: Peter, you are late again for my class!
PETER: Its because my watch is late...
TEACHER: Idiot! Why don't you set it in advance!

Peter sets his watch in advance and went out of class immediately

TEACHER: Hey, Peter, where are you going?
PETER: My watch says it is time to go home!


Abundance of that

One day, an American and Korean together hailed a Filipino taxi cab. As the taxi sped along the highway, the American threw out his Apple Ipad out of the window.

FILIPINO TAXI DRIVER: WTF! Why did you throw that???
AMERICAN: Don't worry! We got plenty of Ipads in America!
FILIPINO: (Thinking to himself) What a waste! He could have given that to me!

A few minutes later, the Korean threw out his laptop out of the window.

FILIPINO TAXI DRIVER: WTF! Why did you throw that???
KOREAN: Oh, we have so many cheap laptops in Korea!
FILIPINO TAXI DRIVER: (Getting irritated and muttering to himself) Damn these foreigners! Such wastrels instead of giving those things to us poor Filipinos!

As the taxi crossed the bridge over a river, a pretty prostitute stopped the taxi for its 2 foreign passengers. The Filipino taxi driver got out of the taxi and angrily threw the pretty prostitute into the river!

AMERICAN AND KOREAN: (Shocked) WTF! Why did you do that???
FILIPINO TAXI DRIVER: Oh, we have so very many beautiful ladies here in the Philippines!


Cotton candy

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Last night I dreamed that I ate cotton candy. It was so much cotton candy that I never stopped eating it.

When I woke up, my pillow was gone!





Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


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