Seeing The Magic In My Life!

I have struggled with writing these last few days. My heart has just not really been into it and I am not going to force myself either. I have still posted on here, but it has not been my usual content. I was just not not feeling very inspired, this whole situation is just really unsettling and also I don't want to focus on it too much either.

I really want my energy to go towards more productive things. But there is no denying that I have been struggling a little of late, for the same reasons that many of you are as well. And well it is hard to move away from it.

Don't get me wrong, I know how lucky I am, to live where I do, to be in the valley, surrounded by mountains and the sound of birdsong and lately of rain. Both of which I find very relaxing and grounding.

Last night I was quiet feverish and in the end, I had to put myself to bed and let my 3 girls have the run of the place. We live in a small space, we are right on top of one another and even though I put myself to bed, I was still right there amongst them, as they found activities to do, whilst leaving a trail of toys, colouring pencils and paper behind them.

But hey, I wouldn't live any other way, I choose to live in a truck, in a small space, because all that I really need, fits into here. Although it could do with a clear out as my girls are great at finding new things to bring inside, but lets been honest here, so do I. I find it hard to walk past a beautiful piece of wood, or stone and I imagine that they take up half of the weight of our home.

Add two big dogs and 3 cats to our family and our Truck can suddenly feel very small. But it is full of love, most of the time anyway.

But back to last night, I was feverish and twisting and turning, whilst my girls entertained themselves, something they are all very good at. They all played together really well, which always makes me so happy to see. I somehow managed to get up and make them some pasta and encouraged them to tidy up as I would not be doing it.

Then it was time for bed. My youngest sleeps with me and my two eldest sleep together above the cabin. Which they reach by climbing above my bed. My youngest was still quite alert (she is a night owl) and wanted me to read her a story. I tried to explain that I was too tired and then she became upset. It was then that my middle daughter, asked if she wanted her to tell her a story.

In the end she told her 4 stories all of which she made up herself. There were Unicorns, Fairies, Horses, Princesses, and lots of other animals in the stories and I lay there with a big smile on my face hearing her tell them. One story involved a unicorn getting lost in the forest, only to find it's way back by following it's muddy footprints. Another was about a little girl who found a unicorn and made friends with her and put beautiful plaits in her hair.

My daughter who was telling the stories is 7 and she went into so much detail with each one. By the time she had finished my youngest was asleep beside me and I just just beaming with love and pride. I love, how she had just automatically stepped into help, without me suggesting anything, how she wanted to help cheer up her sister and to help me.

This is the reason I love sharing a small space with my girls, because I get to share in these magical moments.

Being a mother is so challenging at times, especially as a single parent. But I would not be who I am today without them.

Yes the next few weeks will be difficult, as someone who relied on markets to make a living, I am uncertain how I will make ends meet. But I also have faith that I will, I am just not sure, how that will be right now.
But so many others are in the same boat as me. I am not alone and most importantly, I have my 3 amazing girls with me, who show me day in and day out what life is really all about. So even though I still feel a little under the weather, I am feeling truly blessed.

All Images are my own.

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