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Shaped By Experience.

olawaliumPosted for Everyone to comment on, 2 years ago5 min read

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We live in a funny world and we are all shaped by our experiences in this life. The experience you have might be different from what another person has so before you start thinking the world revolves around you, you should listen and learn from others too.

You can see someone looking all good but you have no idea what is going on in their head. A lot of people sometimes lash out based on what they are going through. They lash out so much that you can't place their actions in line with what has been done. A lot of internal battles were going on prior which we know nothing about.

Twitter is a whole new world on its own and you can't be short of what to see. I checked Twitter many years ago about one Miss. Taiwo and I got curious to read her thread with the comments too.

A guy came for an interview in her company and she was the HR in that company. After the interview, the guy she interviewed told her that she smelled nice and this HR lady took it personally. She said the guy has no manners and he was rude. I can understand her outburst if she says ”That’s unprofessional” but with that kind of outburst, it's not surprising that she must have had experiences with guys that either look like this guy or that once used that line on her.

I have heard how some HRs in a reputable company would even be the ones to compliment the person being interviewed, so I don’t see the issue with what the guy said. I don't know if she felt it was flirtatious or maybe he was trying to charm his way into getting the job but I think the right words would have been, "That's totally unnecessary. That's not professional. For future references, please don't say that in an interview." And I don't mind if she decides to dock him some points.

Often those being interviewed would also compliment the look of the HR and there seem to be no issue with it, but I guess it is easy to judge her right now since we don’t know what her values are or what was going on in her head. The guy that also used that line, I would love to know why he said what he said and maybe someone gave him the heads up about using that line in interviews.


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Whether we like it or not, this is a reflection of what she has gone through. Who knows maybe she once dated someone that gave her such compliments or at work. She might have something against men and I can trace it to bad experiences with some of them because the way she used her words showed a lot in her tweet. She said and I quote: "I don’t know why men are so rude and without manners". She has categorized all men as that which speaks a lot about what she is going through in the hands of men...and explained why she would pounce on anything to discredit the men. She got a lot of backlash from her tweet.

It was obvious that the guy won't get that job because of her distaste for men and this is where I would say she is being unprofessional too. If she felt what the guy did was wrong, it would be fair for her to say "I appreciate the kind words but this is an interview and going forward, it would be deemed unprofessional to say this in an interview. Thank you and have a nice day". That guy would even feel more foolish than the outburst. He was supposed to learn in that interview session about his good and bad... it shouldn't be about nailing him to the coffin. There are better ways she could have handled that but she allowed her emotions to show.

Whether we like to show it or not, we often say a lot from our actions rather than from our words. If anyone asked her how she was coping with her last heartbreak, she would feign she has moved on rather than admit the hurt. Admitting your pain is the first step to healing. Most people would rather suppress their hurt than admit it.

I think the guy just wanted to show confidence which was why he said what he said...and I could be wrong. In other places, they would have credited the guy for being confident but then it was obvious this HR has some internal battles going on which made her act the way she did. Twitter melted her with banter and she also tweeted, "This is why people don’t report rape in Nigeria". What she tweeted above does not correlate with what people were dragging her with but she felt the need to say that to justify herself.

Admitting hurts and dealing with them is the best way to move on as fast as you can. Having a stereotype about men due to what you have been repeatedly experiencing doesn’t help either. When people lash out it has a lot to do about that person and not necessarily about you, sometimes.

Someone said the guy should have said: "I love your cologne" instead because 'smell' is offensive but then we all know we use the word "smell nice" in a positive way in Nigeria. If the guy had said cologne, it would have been the same issue due to the state of her mind.


Thank you for your time.


My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.

Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.

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