Stiff Uppa Lip - UK’s Answer To World Pandemic

You may have noticed that I ain’t posted for a little while and that’s because I have been stock piling loo rolls in case I catch a cough.

One good thing about my recent status is that I now have that much sanitiser on my skin that my blood now kills 99.9% of all germs.

I coughed in the supermarket the other day and 4 people spun round. I thought I was the voice for a moment.

So China have gone to great lengths control the spread of CoVID-19. They have isolated providence’s and grounded all flight while walking the streets with hazmat suits and spraying the streets with disinfectant.

Italy have isolated their country and declared their country a “red zone”. Freedom of movement has been banned and public events cancelled.

USA stop all Europeans from entering the states. They are setting up testing stations throughout North America while working closely with the top business executives to ensure that they are all working together to ensure the health of the country.

Spain are now cancelling travel into their country.

France have cancelled sports events.

South Korea have mass tested and speeded up the response time.

So what are we in the U.K. doing to tackle the outbreak in this newly independent nation.

Sweet Fuck All!!

Well that ain’t entirely true.

We have stopped testing for the virus because the top health advisories and our prime minister thinks its pointless and a waste of resources. What!!
They also have said that we should only self isolate for 7 days if we have a cough and/or fever. Our leader doesn’t see the need to stop public gatherings. They don’t feel that closing schools will help.
So what if I developed a fever?
I would stay at home but my kids would most likely go to school. I would call work and say that I cannot come in for seven days because I feel warm but I can not confirm that I have corona virus cos they won’t test me.

They are calling this “herd immunity” which basically means let the country catch it then they will build up an immunity to it so therefore that will slow down the spread. FML!

The best part of all this is that Boris Johnson Started this informative speech with the following...

“ Many more families Are going to lose loved ones”

So it’s Stiff uppa lip for the U.K. it’s here and we just don’t give a fuck.

Oh and if you would like to buy a toilet roll then please leave a comment below. Each roll will come unused and will cost 6000 wls per roll.
Get 4 rolls for 20k.